Love and Resentment
Resentment acts as a barrier, clouding our ability to treat and love others as we truly wish to. When we harbor negative feelings towards someone, it distorts our perceptions and hinders our capacity for empathy and connection. This emotional weight can lead to defensive behaviors or an unwillingness to engage genuinely, preventing us from expressing affection, understanding, or forgiveness. Ultimately, if we allow resentment to persist, it not only strains our relationships but also deprives us of the joy that comes from meaningful interactions and acts of love.
According to the Merriam-Webster site, resentment is defined as “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury”. If you read the definition carefully, you’ll notice it says ‘something’. We may think we have resentment toward people, but in reality, we have resentment toward things they have done. We get so frustrated with how it has made us feel that we blame that resentment on the person. Thus making us think we resent the person as a whole.
Love, on the other hand, has many definitions. Merriam-Webster’s definitions are as follows:
Love (noun)
1:
a:
(1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.
(2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
b: an assurance of affection
2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
3:
a: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
b:
(1): a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment
(2) British —used as an informal term of address
4:
a: unselfish, loyal, and benevolent (see benevolent sense 1a) concern for the good of another: such as
(1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind
(2): brotherly concern for others
b: a person's adoration of God
5: a god (such as Cupid or Eros) or personification of love
6: an amorous episode : love affair
7: the sexual embrace : copulation
8: a score of zero (as in tennis)
Love (verb)
1: to hold dear : cherish
2:
a: to feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for
b:
(1): caress
(2): to fondle amorously
(3): to copulate with
3: to like or desire actively : take pleasure in
4: to thrive in
With all of this being said, there isn’t a person on this planet that hasn’t felt some type of resentment about something. Resentment and love cannot coexist in a healthy relationship, as the weight of negative emotions undermines the trust and empathy required for love to flourish. When we hold onto resentments, we create barriers that suppress genuine affection and closeness. By releasing these feelings, we open ourselves to understanding, forgiveness, and kindness, allowing us to treat others with authenticity and care. In doing so, we not only heal strained bonds but also create a foundation for deeper, more meaningful interactions that enrich both our lives and the lives of those around us.
The choice is ours: to nurture love and let go of what harms us, or to cling to resentments that cloud our hearts. Only through this conscious decision can we truly embrace the profound, transformative power of love.
